Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
