i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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