8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
