I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Mom said you looked used
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
