ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
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Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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