I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
