he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
are you so shy because you have an std?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
