it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
