It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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