He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
