It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
