Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
