ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
