people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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