I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize