he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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