please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
