Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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