I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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