It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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