my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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