the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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