Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
