bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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