i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize