Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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