I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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