He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
