i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
