I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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