Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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