well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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