this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
