Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
