so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
