I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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