scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I touched a dick in church today
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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