I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
