Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I can't turn off my feet"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
