I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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