it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
