I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize