How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize