My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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