She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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