Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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