do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
