If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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