I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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