I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
