I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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