Moan for me like Helen Keller
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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