good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
