Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
