He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize