a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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