i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize