Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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