Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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